Emergency surgery

Dear Bono,

What a way to start August.  One month into my chief resident year, and I can't believe how fast the time has flown... nor can I believe that only 32 days have passed.  Yesterday I had an emergency add on surgery.  I was supposed to be in clinic, but had to do this emergency case.  My clinic patients were given the option of waiting or of rescheduling.  I only ended up seeing 4 patients out of the 9 that were scheduled.  I guess most of the patients did not want to wait.  For some reason that made me feel like a failure.  I don't know why, but I took it personally.  It's not as though the patients knew me.  All they knew is they were to see the urology chief resident.  Still, I felt bad, rather than being happy that I had fewer notes to write.  I guess part of it is that it's the V.A.  I feel like I should be taking care of these vets, because so often it seems that nobody else wants to.  The V.A. is a dichotomy.  It has the best workers and the worst workers.  It is an oxymoron.  I want to be on the best side.

Sincerely,

JP