Eye-rolling in silence

Dear Bono,

My neighborhood is very hipster.  There's cobblestone streets, hybrid cars, and even a macaron bakery.  While my husband's friend was in town for her 10 year PhD reunion, we tried to go to a hipster neighboorhood restaurant.

Yes, this restaurant is so hipster, it does not take reservations. It takes "call aheads" and despite calling ahead an hour and a half as instructed, we arrived and still had no table one Friday night last fall.  Indeed, this restaurant is so hipster, it has a hostess who weighs probably 70 lbs, a server who dresses like James Dean (pomade and all) and another server who has a handlebar mustache.

Though I did not know the above at the time.  All I knew is I had just worked for over 12 hours and I was hungry and there was no table for us yet!  Naturally, we do the only logical thing, which is have them give us a menu to look at while we stood outside in the Autumn breeze.

"Lobster roll?..."  I overheard a fellow "wait outside until your name is called" patron.  I turn my ears.  I am, of course, the girl who ate lobster 7 days in a row on my trip to Maine only a year before.  Obviously, Ohio is landlocked.  Thus lobster roll=risky in my opion.  I continued listening.  "I suppose I could choke down a lobster roll.  It's no New Orleans lobster..." the chap chortled.  Laughs from his co-outside waiting people ensued.

"What?"  I thought to myself.  "Lobster doesn't come from New Orleans.  Surely, SURELY he must be joking!"  But he wasn't.  He was just fancying himself REALLY cultured.

"My good sir!" I exclaimed (in a British accent).  "I prithee excuse my interruption, but I could not help but overhear of your delight at finding a lobster delicacy on the menu!  However, I fear you are quite mistaken about the origins of lobster in the States!  Indeed, the lobster to which you refer is largely found in New England, and the crustaceans clasically found in New Orleans are actually a distant relative of lobster called crawfish!"

Actually, I didn't.  I should have. Instead, I just eye-rolled in silence.  I really hate people who put on airs about their fancy ways, which is one of the big problems I have with the city in which I currently live.  It is a big Midwestern city.  People here come from smaller Midwestern cities, and think it is the REAL DEAL.  But even growning up in a small Western city, I knew the Midwest was the worst.  And in the end, I convinced my husband and his friend of that too.  And we returned the menus and walked down the street to the (slightly less presumptuous) tapas restaurant.

xoxo,

JP

P.S. Get me out of here!!!!