Dear Bono,
Since last month, much has changed. Fall melted into winter here in the Ohio River Valley and I fear the sun will not make an appearance until late April. I applied for that job in Montana. The closing date is December 31. I also emailed people in other jobs. Who needs verbal abuse anyway. I have found the 2nd year fellow to be a most kindred spirit. We both hate our boss (ok, so most of the non-physicians in our division feel that way). Actually, here's another example of his "Mean Girls" behavior. He had a physician only Christmas party. And didn't invite the 2nd year fellow or myself. Both physicians. Also, they kept it very hush hush, like they didn't want us to know about it. Of course it still gets out. Slap in the face. I guess I am good enough to drop everything and call his patients whenever he sends me a "can you check on ____" text, but not good enough to be invited to their party. What stung all the more was when the nurses in the operating room put up Santa hats for the physicians and stockings for the nurses, and NOTHING for the 2nd year fellow and myself. Truly, we are nothing. It actually reminds me a bit of that Britney Spears song that I am sure you have never heard but I heard it because I am the same age as Britney and therefore her songs spoke to me despite largely being written by people who were decades older than us: "I'm not a girl, not yet a woman." Except I'm not a nurse, not yet a doctor. Though I have been a doctor. For 6 years. And if I had known 6 months ago what I realized 3-4 months ago (that fellowship is stupid and that I could've been happy being an adult urologist), I would have applied for adult jobs and never had to deal with these drama queens.
Ok. I know I am petty and also could be probably considered a drama queen. It is hard not being overly dramatic when one feels like they are back in the 7th grade drama! But Bono, how are YOU? That bicycle accident-ouch! How is your clavicle/hand/back. I actually can't all quite remember what you hurt, but it sounds painful. Surgery for your injuries! I have to say that after spending 6 years in the operating room, I never want to have surgery myself. Sure, when patients say they are scared, I reassure them. After all, usually there is nothing that goes wrong. But I guess as a surgical trainee, I have taken care of my share of the unusual part-the part that does go wrong. And boy, it is scary. I only have been under anesthesia (besides local-which could still kill a person) once. I was sixteen and getting my wisdom teeth out. Now I didn't go to any of those "oral surgeons" who gives full sedation. That is for fancy people. And the dentist I had my whole life, whom I still see, was good enough to take out my teeth. Just a little local, a little nitrous, and they were out. I remember hearing about how crazy people could act when under nitrous. Now there is proof on YouTube. I was excited to hear about all the funny things I said, because, I am a funny person, so therefore my funny should be exponentially higher with the added socially inhibiting drug, right? But all I remember was feeling like I was suffocating with that mask. It was awful. No funny stories, no nothing. Just me, feeling the "clink, clink, clink" of them breaking my teeth out of my mouth and hearing the dentist exclaim "that is the biggest wisdom tooth I have ever seen." Luckily, it was soon over, and I didn't have to get back in the chair until a week later when I had infections in all my sockets and had to get them incised and drained without anesthesia because it was a Sunday. I remember that as being painful. Nevertheless, I am glad you are doing well. I was a bit surprised at the announcement of the tour, but I'm sure the planning of this preceded the accident and I am sure it is difficult to reschedule arenas, just because of a few broken bones. I did manage to secure some tickets. As usual, this was a minor cluster, and it is a bit frustrating that the two nights are going to be different, but I didn't know a) different it what manner, or b) which show was which, so of course I had to buy tickets to both. And of course, despite being a member of U2.com since 2005 and Propaganda before that (which was way better, in terms of having awesome magazine, and MUCH better ticket distribution, but I'm sure you spend hours reading the comments boards and have already seen how everyone says this. Actually, back in college, I spent HOURS on U2 message boards. I was on the U2 Wire. Oh, the joy! I met friends on those things. The internet in its youth! What a joyful place! But, I have been too busy lately for things like "message boards" and "friends" and only looked briefly over the U2.com message boards when I was having a problem with the ticket purchases. There was much anger on the boards that day. And much wistful discussion about the Propaganda days. The old days were always much better than today, anyhow.) Anyway, I was only able to secure GA tickets for one night in Boston (night 2). Then the other night was sold out. So I had to spend 300 bucks per ticket because that's all it could find in a pair (really, Bono? I have $86,000 in student loans! And I thought the $120 "Golden Circle" for Elevation was rough) for the other night (night 1). But I wanted to be on the floor for both nights! So I have decided to fly to Arizona, where they had floor seats for the opposite night as Boston (AZ night 1), but then what if you switched the order of the shows between AZ and Boston, and now the AZ night 1 show is the same as Boston night 2, so I had to get tickets for AZ night 2 as well, just in case. No floor seats were available this time, but I am old and don't want to wait in a GA line 2 days in a row, so the nosebleeds it is. I am poor. I thought I mentioned this already? Gone are the days of 360 Tour where I easily got GA tickets and ended up on the 1st or 2nd row in 5 out of 6 cities (the 6th being Philly, where I was working in Baltimore that same day and got off work at 6 and drove straight to Philly and walked into the stadium right as Bowie came on and headed to the back because why not? Sure, you can't have Bono call out your poster "President the Edge, 4 More Years"-a nod to the DC show a few nights prior) and make the Edge come look at it if you are in the back like you can if you are in the 2nd row like at Charlottesville. And sure, you can't have Adam Clayton mouth "thank you" after he has seen you elatedly dancing for the past 2 hours because you are on the front row right in front of him like you can at the Salt Lake show. But then again, if you are in the back, you are less likely to need to sit down from heat exhaustion because it is TOO HOT and there are TOO MANY PEOPLE like in the 2nd row at the Baltimore show, and you are less likely to encounter people angrily speaking French to you when you try to get your 2nd row spot back after a port-a-potty break that had like 2 squares of toilet paper left, mind you, like at the Montreal show. So, being in the front has highs and lows. But either way, it involves MUCH sitting and waiting to get let into the show to begin with.) I forgot what I was talking about. Anyway, get well soon, Bono.
-JP
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